MOVIE REVIEWS

Emoji Movie

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6/10 PG 01 hr 31 min
based on 1 review

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By Keith Noakes, Contributor July 29, 2017

As soon as the film was announced, it has gotten nothing but hate. Despite this, I was still willing to give it a chance since an animated film featuring emojis could work but it all depends on its execution. Read More

By mrman12 January 30, 2017

Once in a lifetime you'll come across a film that truly captures the history and cultural distinctions of the modern world the way a person can subjectively perceive it through our guided field of perspective. I have to admit, I had my doubts when I first learned of the movie. After all, a movie based on emojis? Those annoying things people send in texts? Come on, Sony. You’re really pushing it. How ignorant was I to even have these thoughts.

Little did I know I was about to indulge in what may have been the best 5 hours and 38 minutes of my life. The movie started out strong. The opening scenes enticed the audience with a captivating enigma. I was so taken aback from the next-generation animation that I almost didn't even realize the underlying symbolism in the ongoing scenes. It wasn't until my twenty sixth viewing of the movie where I finally got my bearings together and was able to focus on the gripping and labyrinthine stratagem. The underlying analogy for 19th century dystopianism and the evangelical deviation of typical orthodoxy was enlightening to say the least.

Just when I thought the movie could not get any better, the increasing conflict before the climax began. I could not believe the complexity of the story as the main emoji protagonist, Gene, struggled with the everyday endeavors for a quintessential emoji such as the consistent up-hill altercation of the fight against misogyny and the fiscal synergy of opposing interplanetary dynamisms. There I was, gripping to my chair as the conflict of the movie began. I was so enticed by the movie that I felt as if I was both practically and relatively apart of the movie. This is a special kind of high that not even the strongest of drugs can give you. Was I part of the movie? Am I inside the movie right now?

This movie will leave you questioning existential nihilism and the objective skepticism of our perceived valuation of anthropological existence. At this point in the film, I was fully intoxicated by the avant-garde animated art style. That's when the plot finally aggrandized and I was completely stupefied. You could have lived a thousand years of isolation trying to predict the plot twist and you would never even scratch the surface of what actually transpires in the movie. I was so bewildered that I actually had to pause the movie so that my existential crisis didn't dive too deep inside of myself. There’s a moment midway through the film where one of the emojis stops talking, mid-sentence, and then stares into the camera. This went on four 24 minutes, and everyone one of those brought new questions to light. It's almost as if life paused with the movie.

I felt as though I had actually become a cinematic tangent quantum. The effects are still wearing off and I haven't been able to watch the movie in several years. I spent the following seven years afraid of what outside of my house actually looks like. Every single day and night I live in misery because I became fully aware that happiness is never achievable. I realized that human life has absolutely no meaning and that no matter what I ever do, it is of complete unimportance and in years from now, no recollection of my existence will prevail, meaning that if I died years ago, died now, or die sometime in the future it will not matter whatsoever to anyone. But, then again, the fact that I'm living doesn't matter either so I might as well stick around for awhile, living in complete isolation, condemned to a life of traumatic memories and a completely corrupted sub-conscience.

**10/10**

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